1/11/2008

Wonder of wonders

I was beginning to think it might never happen but it's finally starting to look like we may soon be homeowners. If there is such a thing as a nesting instinct for non-pregnant people, I think I may have had it since birth. For as long as I can remember I have dreamed of a place of my own. A place I can decorate and rearrange to my own liking and all manner of other idealistic notions. It's kind of embarrassing to admit to such lowly aspirations in life but it's just who I am. I am a homebody at heart.

When we moved here three years ago, we thought it would be for a year, maybe two and figured it wouldn't make much sense to buy. We rented a home which was a great deal for the area we live in but has grown smaller and shabbier with each year. Now that there are five of us it is a bit of a joke and I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that my mental health suffers daily as a result of this dumpy shack. I've tried and tried to have a good attitude about this place, to focus on the few positives. Do you think I've succeeded?

Over and over again I tell myself how lucky we are to live within walking distance of Ethan's school, to benefit from living in a wealthy town with nice parks and a beautiful library, to live only a short drive from almost anything and everything and then I trip over one of my children and choke back curse words and bitter thoughts.

The transfer back to New England which we thought would be a sure thing, looks like it might not be so sure. We still plan to get back someday by hook or by crook. We miss our families greatly. I miss the ocean.

But Michigan is not so bad and really and truly I would happily live in Fargo, North Dakota if it meant I owned a home there. Um, maybe. I know I need to learn contentment in any circumstance. I'm working on it. In the meantime, I'll be browsing Realtor.com.

9 comments:

gretchen said...

Lowly Aspirations my foot! Try God-given, natural, beautiful, womanly ideals! Who's been lying to you!? And anyway, what woman doesn't want a nest of her own!?

And now that I've gotten that out my system, Congratulations on the possibility!!! I'm partly thrilled and partly dismayed: thrilled for the makings of the realization of your dream, and of course dismayed at the thought that you may not be coming back East as soon as we all hope...(those of us back East, anyway)

Keep us posted!

drewey fern said...

Ooo! Congratulations!

I love that you are a homebody at heart. I am too! It took me a long time to realize it. I always felt like I should be a wildly adventurous, travelling sort because they are such cool sorts. But I'm NOT. So it makes me happy that you're not either, because I've always thought you were a wicked cool sort. You validate the coolness of homebodies!

So yay that you might soon be a homebody in your very own home! (But I, too, hope that before too long you can be a New England homeowner...)

Stephanie said...

I think everyone wants to own a home don't they? We bought our first one 3 years ago and I love it. My hubby always comments on how much he hates out house (we bought it for location and for school district...not because it is out dream home) and how much he can't wait until we move and I get upset with him everytime he does. I love our little house and we've improved it by leaps and bounds in the last 3 years. I am very happy for you!! Owning your first home is a big step. It's scary at first but them so liberating!!! I painted almost every wall in the whole house. I couldn't stand living in white walls any more! Good luck!!!

kw said...

I love the way you end your blogs with such style, and hook or crook...

Anonymous said...

I love that your a homebody. I really do wish I was a little more like you and want to stay home. Being home all the time drives me crazzyyy. sometimes I go shopping not to buy anything but too get out of the house. So any way CONGRATS. can't wait to see pics of your new nest.

Claire said...

I have to echo Gretchen's " lowly aspirations my foot!" You have a good case of the American Dream...and there's nuthin wrong wid dat! I'm excited for you.

Heidi said...

Troy is a great city to settle down in...

Wendy said...

Well I was going to say something about the lowly aspirations comment also, but it seems to be covered nicely by both Gretchen and Claire. :) I will comment however on the happily live in Fargo, ND part, believe me, as a short time dweller of that state, I wouldn't wish it on anybody!! lol. I did hope too that you guys would move back this way, but with us potentially moving south for a spell, I'll hold off my wishing for now. :) Trust that your home searching goes well. Dorothy said it best when she said "There's no place like Home!"

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