Hobbled

For a couple years Ethan has been complaining, usually at the end of a soccer season, that the bottom of his heels hurt. At first we thought it might be a mild injury, and later maybe just his shoes. It subsided for a while and then returned.

Since his soccer time has increased this past year, the pain came back and didn't leave. We tried new shoes, new inserts and enforcing rest periods. It would seem to get better, I would forget about it and then glance out at the soccer field and see him limping like an old man.

Finally, a week or two ago, after a visit to a specialist, he was diagnosed with Sever's Disease. Not a huge deal and not terribly uncommon in young athletes.



Now it's just a matter of icing, stretching, good support shoes and possibly limiting some of the time he's on his feet. The first three we can do. Limiting soccer? Not so sure.

I get knocked down

I'm regularly impressed by the life lessons soccer teaches. Ugh. That sentence. Sounds like something an overindulgent, overextended soccer mom might trumpet.

Although organized team sports weren't a part of my own childhood, I've heard all those "life lessons" cliches for years and knew there was some truth to them. Just how much truth is something I'm discovering through my own sons.

Yes, there are the usual ones: patience, determination, focus, discipline. All of which can be learned outside of sport. Still, there is something about learning to accept and recover from mistakes, defeat and embarrassment in a very public way, that is powerful.

It may seem cruel to thrust a child with a sensitive, emotional nature into this arena. A child like Ethan. But that's the beauty of it. Ethan wants to participate. The thrill and enjoyment are all wrapped up in lessons he can't get away from. He keeps going back for more.

Yesterday, during an intense tournament game, Ethan made an awful blunder. As his opponent took a shot on goal, Ethan attempted to jump up and head the ball away. Instead, the ball bounced backward into his own goal.

Oh, the groaning. And that was just me.

I knew Ethan would not react well and sure enough, he shuffled off the field, in tears. His coach, not unkindly, shouted words I was mumbling under my own breath, "Get over it, get over it!" and forced him to continue. And, just like that, he did.

The game was a 3-1 loss. Ethan was predictably a black cloud on the way to the car. And yet, by the time we reached home, he was mostly recovered, already full of enthusiasm for the next game. Measurably different from past years.

Even a joyful life is tempered by mistakes, adversity and things we just plain don't like. I want my children to respond with grace and resilience rather than wallow in the sidelines of shame and self-pity. Something I'm still trying to learn myself.

Soccer envy

I've been walking around with this quote in my head recently, "Comparison is the thief of joy".

I have almost always lived in communities where the general population is more affluent than I am. I'm kind of used to it. But it's something else to see it through the eyes of your own children. To demand contentment as I struggle with it myself.

We've been tying ourselves in knots this soccer season, wondering what to do for Ethan in the future. He has played this past year in a "developmental league", part of a popular soccer club he's been with for years.

Coaches have been telling us he is ready for the next level, a travel team. Of course, these coaches work for the club and are also salesmen. They offer dreams of soccer happiness and prestige. They make it sound necessary. I let myself buy into it.

Unfortunately, it's a pricey dream. I don't like to talk (whine) about finances on my blog. But it's a part of life and unavoidable sometimes. The best travel teams charge at least $1300 per year around these parts.

Yes, we are talking about a child playing a sport. Just a game. Which Ethan loves. Which Ethan is good at and passionate about. It's something we would like to give him.

I looked around for alternatives and thanks to a good recommendation, thought I'd found one. A team with the added benefit of including many of Ethan's school friends. I took Ethan to a couple practices to check it out. Unfortunately, our hopes were dashed when the projected price for next season was presented.

I must admit,initially, I thought we could do it and was ready to push for it. Then I slept on it and found some sense. Yes, it would be possible but not at all responsible. We have three other children. This is soccer we are talking about.

I got some perspective. Realized that this was probably more about my own ego, wanting to be part of the best, wanting Ethan to be among the best, than anything else. I was feeling the need to give my children what all the children around them seem to have.

We're not talking about feeding or clothing or educating my child. We are talking about kicking a ball.

And I had a good ol' ugly cry but now I'm done. I think.

We can still put Ethan back in the same league for one more year and worry about what to do later. It's a good league, with good coaches and honestly, when I get my head on straight, I realize it's more than enough.

Now, to tell Ethan.

Soccer practice prep

Five cleanish sweatshirts/jackets: check.
Two pairs of two different size diapers: check.
Wipes: check.
Trash bag for dirty diaper: check.
Four hats: check.
Snacks for two: check.
Water bottles for three: check.
Stroller: check.
Chairs: check.
Blanket: check.
Soccer ball: check.
Cleats: check.
Shin guards: check.
Toys to (hopefully) occupy two boys for an hour: check.
Four cleaned and dressed children....hmmm, check.
Pacifier: check.
Extra outfit for baby: check.
Keys, wallet, sunglasses, cell phone: check.
Basic grooming of self: maybe next time.

Bend it

Ethan's last soccer game of the season was yesterday. It was fun to watch, as always, but can I say how relieved I am that it is done? I'm glad to have my Friday nights and Saturdays back.

I wanted to put together a little video of the action but found we didn't have nearly as much footage as I hoped. Still, I was able to use the bits we had to cobble together a little soccer fun.

Warning: Music starts off mellow (George Winston playing Vince Gauraldi's:Charlie Brown and His All-Stars) and ends rather LOUD (Queen's We are the Champions- did you know this song was written with soccer in mind?). So be forewarned, my friends. I just could not resist.

Click To Play

How the mighty fall

Today I finally made it to a soccer game of Ethan's, the season being almost half over already. This fall, Ethan has moved up to the next age level, making him one of the younger players in the league. He plays well and keeps up with his peers but is no longer the shining star of last season with six or more goals a game.

I know it's a good thing for him to be challenged this way but at the same time it's sad to see him lose his aggressive edge, whether because of intimidation or general demoralization. He seems to have lost some of his focus and hangs back from the action.

He still enjoys the sport and it's good for him to learn to persevere. Hopefully he can maintain his interest in spite of tough going.

Soccer mom pride

Am I allowed to brag a little? Ethan scored his 20th goal today (third game of the season), trampling over opponents and teammates alike. His persistence and focus are impressive.

Fearing a creeping resentment from other parents on our team, we encourage Ethan to share the ball as much as possible even though this is not a skill they are trained in. Today he really did try a few times, stepping back out of the action to let others step in. Unfortunately his teammates don't usually follow through so he jumps back in. To be fair, he is one of the oldest and biggest on his team. More pictures on flickr.