Memorial Field. Rain or Shine.

"Sometimes I still think I will see you in New York
And we will meet on the platform of the train.
And with your great leaning stride
you'll cross back to my side,
And my old life will be my life again".

-Now That You're Gone, lyrics by Elaine Rubenstein

A few weeks ago I looked up the commencement date for the University of New Hampshire. And not because of a nostalgic, lingering interest in my humble alma mater. Only because it is the school Andrew was attending four years ago this fall and would be graduating from. Today. The 24th.

I've already pictured it many times. Maybe I would have been able to attend. We'd strain to see him among a field of black gowns and hats. We might be able to pick him out, standing tall, his back held straight, hands in fists by his side. Would he be wearing those aviator sunglasses? Would he find us in the crowd and wave? I know I would feel proud of him, happy for him, this goal of his met and his face turned toward the future.

Of course I know any number of things could have changed his college plans if he had lived. He might have transferred to another school, changed his field of study, left school for something else. It's hard to have nothing left but speculation. For that reason I guess it seems important to me to have this one last event with a date we can mark, knowing what his plans could have been for this day. To be able to say with some confidence, this is what today would look like with Andrew in it.


kw said...

Wow, the 24th! What an odd coincidence...mighty 24 and all that...I think he'd be wearing crocs.

Emma C said...

Big hugs, my friend. I don't know the story behind this post, but it seems like the kind of thing that deserves a big hug. I'm thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Well done, dear.

Another verse(same author)fits well......
"You were quiet as a winter sky where planets turn and the North Star rides. My sweet brother, so reasoned, so calm, my brother, my own..."

But -- he has reached his highest GOAL!

Anonymous said...

wish I could come up with something witty or reassuring but all I can say is I love you and once again grieve the loss of a great young man along with you

Linds said...

The beauty of this post, wrapped in the sorrow of it, made me ache.
Love to you, Liane!

melbrown said...

I looked up the date, too, wondering if it would have been in conflict with my own graduation.... Such a strange mix of emotions, realizing that it's the last milestone we had a context for. I love you.