Today I renewed my efforts to socialize our monster son. As we climbed into the car together, I turned on the cheer. "Adam, this is going to be fun! Just you and me!"
Adam, from the back seat, "When we get back home it will be more funner."
Yes, I had to silently agree. That's exactly how I feel. Let's go, get this done and get back home. Quickly. Preferably before anyone sees us.
I'm here to tell you there just isn't much of anything more tedious than Storytime at the library by the time you are attending with Child #3. It's like having to repeat Kindergarten three times. Who wouldn't get bored? Right?
Adam and I reluctantly joined the circle of fresh-faced young moms with their designer diaper bags, stilettos (yes!) and their precious offspring. These mothers ooze enthusiasm. Every utterance of their child is greeted with wide-eyed coos and delighted laughter. Every movement celebrated. I always marvel at their energy.
I grew so weary of trying to involve Adam on any level that we both sat and stared grumpily at the carpet. Mothers and newborn babies performed elaborate dance steps all around us and placed their beanbags appropriately on their heads. Adam growled and kicked me.
We stuck it out.
When the last repetitive page was wrung dry and the goodbyes handed out, we fled to the toy section of the library before the other horrible human beings could follow.
Adam played happily for about two minutes until a little boy wandered over. We moved away to a nearby mirror. Our new friend, apparently without a guardian, joined the shot.
"He keeps FOLLOWING me!" was Adam's outraged cry.
Oh, boy after my own heart. Why do I need to change you?